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2014-10-05 20:07

美国出版拙作《母亲的红裙子》





母亲的红裙子 小说

申弓

母亲四十一岁生下了我。我不知道吃过母亲多少次奶,也不知道都有谁来抱过我,更不知道是怎么在摸爬中长大的。

到了十四岁那一年,母亲做了一件很破天荒的事情。那一天早上,我们几乎是同时出的门,我们去上学。母亲捉了家里的黑母鸡到圩上去,卖了,买回了一块红布,是大红大红的,我觉得要比我们的红领巾还要红。我们都不知道母亲要这红布来做什么。到了晚上,母亲找来了尺子和剪刀,量量裁裁,不久便做成了一件裙子。我们更是不解,母亲做这红色的裙子来做什么呢?是给姐姐的?显然不是,记忆中,我那两个姐姐从来不穿裙子,更加不用说这大红的裙子了。

我问母亲,这裙子是给谁做的?

母亲说是给我自己。

什么?你都五十四了啊,还穿红裙子?

母亲平静地说,是啊。

我说,你敢?

母亲说到了那时还有什么敢不敢的?

不过母亲并没有穿而是放在衣柜的最底层。

我从来没有见过母亲穿上它,节日不穿,赴宴不穿,接待客人时也不穿,不过话说回来,母亲真要穿的话,她不感到丑,我们还不敢看呢。母亲说的那时,到底是什么时候?好奇之心驱使,我也真想看母亲穿一回看是什么样子。

有一天我问母亲,阿妈,你的裙子几时才穿?

母亲说,你想我穿?

我说是的,我想看一看阿妈穿红裙子是怎么个样子。

母亲说,快了。这时,母亲的脸色变了,眉头皱了起来,我知道,母亲的心气痛又发作了。便找来了那个布锤,给母亲的后背猛擂一气,等母亲哦地吐出了一口长气,那面色才有好转,那眉头才舒展开来。

这时,母亲才说,阿七啊,这红裙是到阿妈死时穿的,我一穿上它,你就会见不到我了。

说到死字,我感觉不大好受,人生好好的,为什么要死呢?何况。母亲也才五十多岁呀。不过我还是不解,到底为什么死时要穿上红裙子呢。母亲说,她一生最怕的是蚂蝗,年轻是时插田曾经被蚂蝗咬得昏倒过。母亲说,到了那边,听说有很多的蚂蝗,穿上红裙子,蚂蝗就不敢接近她了。其实我也不知道死是涵义怎么样,到底说不上有多么可怕,可我也为母亲欣慰,毕竟找到了她的防卫武器,是死也不怕了。

在我的记忆中,母亲确实是个不怕死的人。村上的六伯公死了,她去参加送葬,回来便说,下一个该是轮到我了。便交代细姐,我死后,你一定给我穿上那件红裙子。我清楚记得,母亲拿出了那件红裙,细姐直吓得哭了起来。到了下一个死人,不是母亲,而是一个比母亲还要年轻的八婶。母亲看了人家出殡,回来又说,下一个该是到我了。

就这样,母亲看着村上的人,一个个地死去,有比她老的,有比她年轻的。母亲却没有死,自自然然地活着。到了八十八岁,我们兄弟将她接到了城里,带着她老人家,乘了火车上了一趟省城,然后又到动物公园去看老虎狮子大象,还乘电梯上了30层的国际大厦。回来后,母亲第一句说就是说,我死也足了,火车搭过了,电梯搭过了,老虎狮子大象什么都见识过了,这辈子值了。母亲还是那句话,阿七啊,死了后,一定给我穿上那件红裙子哦。

后来,母亲又活过了两年,才安然而去。

 

通讯地址:广西钦州市文化局 沈祖连 535000 电话:13737775013 

Mother’s Red Dress

Shen Gong

 

My mother gave birth to me when she was 41 years old. I don’t know how many times I have sucked her milk, how many people have embraced me, and how I have grown up without being much attended.

In the year when I was fourteen years old, my mother did something that she had never done before in her life. That day in the morning, we went out almost at the same time. We children went to school, while my mother took a black hen to the country fair, selling it, and bought a piece of red cloth back, scarlet red. I felt it redder than our red scarf. None of us knew what our mother would do with it. In the evening, my mother got a ruler and scissors, measuring and cutting the cloth, and soon made a skirt. We were puzzled by my mother. Why did she make ​​this red dress? For my sisters? Obviously not. As far as I could remember, my two sisters never wore skirts, not to mention such bright red skirt.

I asked my mother: “For whom is this skirt made ?”
My mother said: “For myself.”
What? You are fifty-four now. Will you wear a red dress?”
She replied quietly: “Yes.
I asked: “Dare you wear a red dress?”
She said: “Why not? When the time comes, I will. “

My mother, however, did not put it on but just put it at the bottom of the wardrobe.

I have never seen her wear it. She didn’t wear it on holidays, nor did she wear it when going to a dinner party or meeting guests. But say, if my mother did wear it, we didn’t dare to look at her even though she didn’t feel embarrassed. She once mentioned “When the time comes”, but when was the time? I felt so curious about what she would look like if she put on the red dress.

One day I asked my mother: “Mon, When will you put on your new dress?”

She asked: “Do you want me to?”

I answered: “Yes. I just want to see how my Mon looks like in red dress.”

My mother said: “Quite soon.” Just at that moment, her face got pale and she frowned. I knew she was getting heart pain again, so I got a hammer wrapped by cloth and hammered her back hard, until she let out his breath in a long exhalation. Then her face turned better and she stopped frowning.

She said to me: “A Qi, I will wear this red dress when I die. That’s to say, if I put it on, you can’t see me any more.”

When it comes to death, I didn’t feel very well. After all, we live a good life, why do we talk about death ? Moreover, Mon was just over fifty years old. I still couldn’t understand why on earth she would wear a red dress when she died. My mother told me what she feared most in her life was leech. When she was transplanting rice in her young age, she was sucked by leech, which frightened her so much that she got fainted. She was told that there would be so many leeches in the other life, therefore, according to her, wearing a red dress would frighten leeches away. In fact, I did not know the meaning of death, and I could not tell clearly how terrible it was. Still, I was relieved that my mother, after all, did find her defensive weapon against death.

In my memory, my mother was really a woman not afraid of death. When the Sixth Uncle in our village died, she said to us that the next one to die would be her after the funeral. And she gave clear-cut orders to my small sister: “When I'm dead, you must help me wear that red dress.” I remember clearly that my mother took out that red dress and my small sister was so scared that she cried. The next one who died, however, was not my mother, but the Eighth Aunt younger than Mon. After she attended the funeral, my mother said again:The next one to die will be me.”

Thus, she saw people die one by one, some of them older than her, and some younger than her. My mother did not die, but lived a normal life. When she was eighty-eight years old, my brothers and I brought her to the city where we lived. We went to the capital of our province by train, watching tigers, lions and elephants in the zoo, going up to the 30th floor of the International Building by elevator. Being back, what my mother said first was: “I won’t feel regretful even if I am dying now, since I have taken train and elevator, I have seen tigers, lions and elephants. I am satisfied with my life. ”And mother said again:A Qi, after I die, be sure to help me wear that red dress.”

Afterwards, my mother lived two more years and then died peacefully.

 

 选自美国出版《中美微型小说作家作品集》


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夏尔洛迷(未登录用户) 2014-10-24 10:26 Says:
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